Ninja Insanity
by Lunaarose
Summary: Ever wonder what would happen if someone fed Gaara way too much sugar?
1. Chapter 1

Yay my first story! Well... ok my 50 thousandth...but my first one that i've let people actually SEE!

I'll probably end up putting random short stories in perhaps... because as you can tell... I have no patience in my stories whatsoever! xD

So yeah, I'm not going to tell you all that I didn't make Naruto... or whatever else people normally do...

Because come on... it's obvious!

So enjoy!

* * *

It was a peaceful night in Naruto's house, the moon was glowing, the crickets were chirping, people were dying… 

Yes… some idiot had fed Gaara sugar again.

That idiot just happened to be Naruto… who was now cowering in fear as the crazed teen ran around on his sugar-high.

"You **idiot! **How could you forge- oomph!"

As Sasuke tried to scold Naruto he was lucky enough to get in the path of Gaara's rampage as he ran around with his bright pink bucket and spade, which he stole from Sasuke's pink collection.

Sasuke had barely started complaining when he spotted two white eyes out the window.

"Umn… Naruto? She's out there again…"

Naruto instantly hid under a pile of clothes until the eyes finally vanished.

Sakura popped up at the door.

"Who was that?"

He popped his head out with a pair of frilly underwear on his head.

"Don't speak about her! She was watching me in the shower… and when I was getting dressed… and I think she has a hide-hole above my bed! "

"Oh! It must just be Hinata then!"

A knock came at the door right on cue, and Naruto shot under the pile again.

Sakura ran to get the door, to Naruto's dismay and Gaara's glee as he ran through the open doorway to spread his sugary killing spree to the world.

"Hi Sakura-chan… is Naruto in?"

Sakura grinned.

"Yes… he's just under the pile of clothes over- oh… what is that?"

Hinata held up a used towel.

"It's Naruto's… he left it at school on our pool-day… I kept it per a while because… I-I… forgot to give it back… it smelt so nice…"

* * *

Meanwhile, Gaara was playing in a sandpit with Kankuro… well 'playing' wouldn't really be a good choice of words seeing as Kankuro was buried up to his neck in a sandcastle and Gaara was running around him like a headhunter. 

"Um… Gaara? Can you let me out yet?"

Gaara looked at him with a crazed sugar glare and poked him with his spade and rambled something that was impossible to understand before grinning evilly and pouring more sand on his head.

* * *

Back in the house Sakura was attempting to hold back a frenzied Hinata from causing Naruto some kind of trauma… she seemed like she could rip off a piece of him to add to her 'Naruto-kun' collection... 

And Naruto couldn't do anything to stop it, seeing as Sasuke had crept off to go play with his fluffy pink toy bunnies and kitties and was in no position to even try to save him.

* * *

Sasuke happily skipped off to his room to play among his beloved toys all on his own. But after he opened the door all he saw was stuffing strewn across the room… 

It was a pity that Neji, in his rampage of confused sexuality, had beaten Sasuke to his room and torn his beloved collection to shreds… including the wallpaper and leftover buckets and spades… and anything else he could see… which tragically was everything.

Pretty soon Sasuke had come crying his eyes out running away from his room screaming something about spending his whole life to take revenge on one man who had destroyed his life…

Neji was giggling and peeking over the window ledge as Sasuke ran around crying and holding a severed bunny head.

Lee stood behind Neji and shook his head.

"You shouldn't keep running away from the truth Neji… we are made for each other!"

He then struck a pose… moments before Neji knocked him unconscious and continued watching Sasuke with glee and snuck back into the room to do some more damage while Sasuke was at the other end of the house.

* * *

Kiba had just come back to his favourite sandpit with Akamaru after hunting all night. 

What he came back to was not a sandpit, but a giant pyramid that was shaking due to Kankuro attempting to breath.

But Kiba saw it as an evil monument creating a monster come to kill his dear little puppy.

So basically… Kankuro didn't live through the night… puppy lovers can get very protective!

* * *

Gaara had run off to go spray paint peace signs over everything he could find… which was attracting a hell of a lot off hippie ninjas and sending him into a one-sided battle against the tree-huggers. 

One-sided being that the hippie ninjas were kicking his arse with their amazing flower power no jutsu.

Pretty soon Gaara was finished his sugar-high and was laying in a heap twitching while the hippie ninjas tossed flowers around the air and sung camp-fire songs.

* * *

Hinata had managed to steal Naruto's clothes and had run away into the street with them while Naruto was left naked and praying she didn't come back for more while Sakura was screaming and twitching on the floor from the extreme disgustingness of the horror she had just witnessed while the inner Sakura was desperately trying to see it again. 

Sasuke didn't seem even slightly fazed though… he seemed somewhat calm as he hid Naruto's remaining clothes while the teen ran around looking for something to put on.

* * *

Kiba had just discovered that the 'monster' that had come to kill his puppy was just Kankuro as he leant over to look in the hole he had just created he felt a tap on his shoulder as an extremely mentally-inflicted Gaara held out a home-made card deck. 

"I challenge you to a duel!"

Kiba blinked.

"A jewel?"

"A DUEL!"

"A drool?"

"A D.U.E.L!"

This went on for a few hours more until Gaara got a papercut and fainted from the shock of seeing his own blood again.

* * *

So that was my first... and maybe last chapter!

It all depends on the commenters now!

So tell me what you think, should I write more, should I stop while I'm ahead, or do you want to give me some better ideas on the storyline?


	2. Chapter 2

Yep. I decided to post a new chapter.

And just one day after my first since people liked the first so much e-e

If I keep this up my small brain may just run out of ideas and if I keep up with the ideas I have now people may just kill me for exposing their favourite characters' true selves

Don't you just love the fact that this is a story that makes no sence whatsoever in both the way it is written and how Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura all of a sudden happen to be living in the same house... yes I realised this halfway through this chapter Oo;;

* * *

Kakashi was calmly sitting down reading the new Come Come Paradise, when a large crowd of hippie ninja's burst into his house hungry for blood after finishing off Gaara.

Kakashi just sat there as they attempted to attack him with their flower power no jutsu, which he instantly copied and threw back at them.

But the jutsu had a strange mutation that turned him into the almighty hippie superhero, Daisyman!

* * *

Near the local ant mound Shino was trying to make some friends.

All of his past bugs had died off after someone had slipped him some prunes for lunch…

The ants finally decided to climb out of their mound… just as the baked beans he ate for dinner earlier showed up…

* * *

Naruto had finally recovered from his previous shock and was having a nice warm shower and singing _I'm a Barbie Girl_ in a hight-pitched voice.

Just as he got to the chorus he felt hot breath on the back of his neck.

Grinning he turned around.

"Oh Sakura! How nice of you to- eeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!"

He turned around and screamed when he came face-to-face with a drooling Hinata who was wearing a raincoat and gumboots and had a crazed look on her face.

* * *

Sakura and Sasuke heard the scream over the other side of the house while Sasuke was getting Sakura to dye his hair pink so he could be his own pink collection.

They were so used to Naruto's screaming at everything from bunnies to his own shadow that they ignored it completely.

Unlucky for them, the screams brought Neji to the window just as Sakura finished dying Sasuke's hair.

* * *

Neji had been _calmly _explaining to Lee that he was not, in any way, shape or form, meant to be his true love.

Unluckily for Lee, Neji just happened to be taking steroids and was hitting extremely hard for someone of his fighting type…

Pretty soon Lee was laying twitching on the ground yet again and Neji was free to go unleash his anger on Sasuke's extremely pink hair.

* * *

As Sasuke calmly sat waiting for Sakura to come back and felt a tug on the back of his head; before he could turn around Neji had started rapidly attacking the top of his head trying to rip his pink hair to shreds.

That was the very moment Chouji decided to drop in, unluckily for them it was literally, as Chouji had just started taking 'human cannonball' lessons…

* * *

Down in the late-night shopping mall a very depressed Orochimaru and Jiraiya were being dragged along to the shops by an over-exited Tsunade, who had decided to quit wasting money in the casino, and waste it on impulsive shopping... though she still had to stop at every toy slot machine she saw in a toyshop…

By the end of the night the two men had been standing around watching her play on a set of Pokemon cards for over an hour, thinking she would win something or other.

Jiraiya then spotted a public sauna across the road and began to creep away from the crazed casino queen and edge toward the sauna.

But there was no way that Orochimaru was going to let him get away with having fun while he had to watch Tsunade play with every toy in the shop. So he sneakily crept off to the sauna with Jiraiya as Tsunade scored another loss against a ten-year old boy.

* * *

Gaara had finally woken up.

He had woken up when a lolly wrapper had flown into his mouth, and like popeye he had gotten a sudden rush of energy… without the giant chin thing.

But what he had woken up to was Kabuto and the 3rd Hokage prancing around in dresses, as it turned out that the park in which Gaara had fainted was their private area to unleash their inner selves.

Needless to say, Gaara had soon fainted again… this time from the trauma of seeing the Hokage in a revealing dress… which would be enough to make anyone at least suffer nightmares for life…

* * *

Hehe!

Now comment or I shall put in another scary Hokage-in-a-dress scene...

... Not that that will stop me putting in ANY gross Hokage scenes

Luff to you all for your comments!

I'm still shocked that there were no Sasuke fans trying to kill me for his pink collection ;;;


End file.
